Thank for all the comments guys. And another thank you to everyone who gave me some support! I want to let you all know that after this post there will be no more drug/alcohol graphics whatsoever. It's another step I'm taking to help with being sober. Drugs and alcohol are everywhere and I can't advoid it all, but I deffently can on here. Sorry to the ones who enjoyed those graphics :/ 
I've been to hell and back. I spill shit, trip, & embarass myself. I can't just flutter my eyes & get that guy. My life is messed up. I've been through more shit than you've seen on tv. Nobody's perfect. I've been lied to, cheated on, & had my heart broken. I've fucked up, fucked people up, & been fucked up. But every hit was worth it because I felt it. I knew it was real. Life is real & I'm living it wrong everyday. I'm fucking up royally & doing everything opposite. But do I regret one thing? Never. Because at one point what I did was exactly what I wanted. And I got my satisfaction. I'm the real deal & I'd love to see you try and break me. 
I can't say that I'm proud of the life I've come to know,
I feel the worst things in my soul
and if I never make it home tonight,
the streets have swallowed me whole. 
Well, all I wanted was a hand to hold me down,
to keep the sky from swallowing me up.
And all I ever needed was someone to come around,
and tell me I've suffered long enough.
I live in the clouds,
reality is not for me.
People say I should come down,
that clouds are not a place for grown-ups to be.
I smile at the, "Maybe one day," I say
"Maybe one day I will come down."
But I never will,
reality is not for me.
I shall stay up here,
where the view is quite breathtaking. 
I've been locked inside your Heart-Shaped box for weeks.
I've been drawn into your magnet tar pit trap.
I wish I could eat your cancer when you turn black.
Hey, wait, I've got a new complaint.
Forever in debt to your priceless advice. 
A heart can hallucinate.
If it's completely starved for love.
It can even turn monsters into
angels from above. 
I say to myself,
"Self, why are you awake again?"
It's one a.m.
Standing with the fridge wide open, staring
Such a sight, florescent light.
The stars are bright, might make a wish
if I believed in that shit.
But as it is, I might watch TV.
Cause it's nice to see people,
more messed up than me. 
Stay the same.
I think we're better off this way.
Play your game.
I'd rather fight then fade away. 
These ugly places I don't want you to see.
These smiling faces I don't want you to meet.
Their hands extended out, holding a knife behind their backs. 
Bloodshot fire clouds in her eyes.
I can't say what I might believe.
But if God made you, He's in love with me. 
The day before those dreaded goodbyes
and kisses concealing the night.
I lie in bed motionless,
hoping somehow my life will be alright. 
Everytime is the last time, until
the next time rolls around.
I'll trade lonely for regret,
it's easier to drown. 
And it's beginning to get to me
that I know more of the stars and sea
than I do of what's in your head.
Barely touching in our cold bed. 
Sometimes I walk up to your apartment,
to see if you are home and maybe get that painting back.
But once I get there.. I just stand on the porch.
Unable to decide if I should leave a love noteor set the place on fire.
In the day by day collision
called the art of growing up
there's an innocence we look for in the stars.
To be taken back to younger days
when there was no giving up
on the people we held closest to our hearts.
 
Don't know what's going on.
Don't know what went wrong.
Feels like a hundred years.. I still can't believe you're gone.
So I'll stay up all night with these bloodshot eyes.
While these walls surround me with the story of our life.
OMFG ^^
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